I am going to stop labeling entries “Journey into Orthodoxy”. It is not very informative, and at this point could go on indefinitely.
I have created several entries in the past about Creeds (one, two and three) and my capacity to claim genuine belief in them. In fact, it was this process that repeatedly confirmed for me that while I had a genuine desire to believe and a heart that yearned for belief, Western Christianity was not instilling in me anything like belief at all, but rather an ever-shrinking pool of certainties that I knew, rather than believed. This series of posts was originally inspired by Sister Joan Chittister’s book “In Search of Belief” in which she completely deconstructed the Apostle’s Creed from the point of view of a contemporary, feminist, progressive Catholic.
I have made one substantial decision with regards to Orthodoxy. I will not formally enter into membership if I cannot speak the Nicene Creed (The Apostle’s Creed is a purely Western tool) and mean every single word of it. Based on the wrestling I have done over the past couple of weeks with a few topics which are relevant, I want to get a sense of how close I am to being able to do this and what, if any, roadblocks remain. To that end, here is the text as it is spoken within the Antiochian church, in English:
I believe in one G-d, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.
And in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Only-begotten, Begotten of the Father before all ages, Light of Light, True G-d of True G-d, Begotten, not made, of one essence with the Father, by Whom all things were made. Who for us men and for our salvation came down from heaven, and was incarnate of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and was made man. And was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate, and suffered and was buried. And the third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures. And ascended into heaven, and sits at the right hand of the Father. And He shall come again with glory to judge the living and the dead, Whose kingdom shall have no end.
And I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, and Giver of Life, Who proceeds from the Father, Who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified, Who spoke by the Prophets.
And I believe in One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. I acknowledge one Baptism for the remission of sins. I look for the Resurrection of the dead, and the Life of the age to come. Amen.
There are, of course, four sections: Father, Son, Holy Spirit and Church.
Because of my recent wrestling with the subject of gender, I can now say that I believe in G-d “the Father” without reservation (in contrast to my emphatic avoidance of the masculine when engaging the Apostle’s Creed). And while I do not necessarily believe in a literal interpretation of Genesis 1 & 2 in terms of a “young earth” kind of Creationist science, I do believe that existence is a creation of G-d. So, I can speak this first passage without qualm, and I do believe it.
This second section is surprisingly long compared to the other three, but when you look at history and see that almost all the primary heresies over the centuries were about Jesus and who he was, it becomes less surprising. So, one sentence at a time. I must confess to being a bit confused about the word “begotten” and how it is somehow different from being “made”. But I do believe that Jesus is Lord, Christ, Son of G-d, True G-d, eternal, of one essence with the Father, and carpenter of creation (John 1:3). So, at some point I just need to clarify with someone in authority how it is that one can be begotten without being made and I will be all set here, as well. I know that “begotten, not made” is tied up in Jesus’ eternal nature as True G-d, and I believe that, but I would like clarification if I can get it. And again, recent wrestling with gender renders Son of G-d no longer a problem.
Second sentence is also no longer a problem. If I believe in the miracles Jesus performed, if I believe in the miracles the Apostles and Saints performed, if I believe in the possibility of contemporary miracles, I can believe in the virgin birth. Miracles are “when G-d bends the rules out of love”. And this is interesting, because it suggests that G-d is not in the business of intervening in Creation on a regular basis. In fact, it implies that G-d ought not be doing so; that there are rules (of nature ~ physics, chemistry, mathematics) which are there for a reason and that on the whole ought to be permitted to run their course. In fact, if we look carefully at many miraculous events in the Bible, especially in the Old Testament, we find G-d working through exceptional, but natural, phenomena rather than actually bending the rules. And G-d never breaks the rules. There are saints whose remains do not decay. They still died, however. Jesus even raised a few from the dead, but we are given no indication that they did not die, again, later on. We must find a balance between trying to “explain away” all miracles via science, but at the same time we should not be so credulous that we are not critical when a suspect miracle is claimed. Anyway, with my new understanding of Mary and Jesus as the second Adam and Eve, I now understand why it was crucial for Jesus to come through virgin birth. Not to avoid somehow being soiled with original sin through sexual genetics, or through some prurient idea about sex and ensuring it had no part in The Incarnation, but rather so that every aspect of The Trinity is involved. The Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father so that Mary miraculously conceives The Son. I believe Jesus was a man, fully human. I believe that his being fully human is crucial both to his ministry and to his cosmic role as the second Adam.
The third sentence is more or less a matter of historic record. There was a man, now known as Jesus Christ, who was executed under the rule of Pontius Pilate.
I believe Jesus rose from the dead (sentence four). The first Adam brought death to humanity; both spiritual and physical death. The second Adam brought salvation from both. We will still die physically, but not permanently, and our soul is no longer forfeit.
I believe Jesus’ incarnation was for a finite time, in the past, and that he has returned to his place which he occupied outside of space-time prior to his incarnation (sentence five).
I believe that at some point, possibly not until the laws of nature bring about the ending of this world on their own, we will be reawakened and brought to account for our lives so that a determination can be made about the nature of our own existence outside space-time (sentence six).
The section on the Holy Spirit is very straight forward. I have read an extensive explanation of why the “Filioque” clause (“Who proceeds from the Father and the Son“) is theologically problematic. In order for our understanding of The Trinity as one G-d and yet three Persons to be sound and intact, the three must be united in essence, but distinct in energies. Anything which two share, all three must share, as an aspect of their united essence. Anything that is not shared must be unique to only one as an aspect of their utterly distinct natures. If both the Father and the Son are the source of the Spirit then they share something which the third lacks. This unbalances the structure of the Trinity and suborns the Spirit to the other two. But all must be co-equal as G-d the only Divine. I also believe in special revelation to and through the Prophets (which I take to include the authors of the canonical texts, not just the Old Testament prophets). We can see marvelous examples of intuitive revelation through the writings of such great minds as Lao Tsu’s “Tao Te Ching” and his articulation of “The Way”. Yet, clearly the special revelation of the New Testament texts gives us not only “The Way” as an abstract, unknowable concept, but as a concrete, incarnate being. The belief that Jesus’ revelation through his life and teaching, and through the help of the Spirit, is complete as understood, lived and passed on by The Apostles is crucial. If it was not, then many generations lived an incomplete faith in spite of belief in Christ. However, an unavoidable consequence of a belief that what has been spoken through the Prophets by The Spirit is complete is that there can be no doctrinal innovation. None. Wordings can be clarified, translated, articulated in new ways as wisdom grows and new cultures manifest, but the meaning cannot and must not change. This is the core of Orthodoxy and the core of why schism over doctrinal differences is abhorrent and antithetical to The Church. I have believed this most emphatically of anything for quite some time now.
As a result I can speak into the last paragraph not only with conviction, but with relief. I do believe in one Church. I believe that baptism is the initiation the life of faith. I continue to have concerns about notions of “heaven” and eternal life insofar as these can drive us to become selfish, self-centered and callous about the concerns of the here and now. However, as I come to learn more about this idea that we should think more in terms of being restored to the Garden of Eden rather than “going to heaven”, and through this new understanding that this is a struggle to be achieved, in which we must cooperate together not just contemporaneously but through the communion of saints throughout history, not just a moment in time contract with G-d, I become increasingly comfortable once again with the idea of “an afterlife”. We were created to be immortal, perfect beings. G-d’s plan and covenant all along has been one of restoration. We were never heavenly beings. We are not angels. And so to believe we are restored to Paradise makes much more sense than being ascended into Heaven.
So, all things considered, I am very, very close. There are a few minor points I need clarification and guidance about, but on the whole, I believe that when the time comes, months from now, or a year from now, I will be able to speak these words without reservation, hesitation or fingers crossed behind my back. This comes as a bit of shock to me, honestly. Just two and a half years ago I was throwing almost all of it out the window. Even just this past June I still could not bring myself to use the precise wording of the Creed even though I had returned to much (but not all) of its essence. This gives me deep hope that my journey into Orthodoxy is not merely “seeker”ism or the pursuit of novelty, but that there is something fundamentally real going on here which is transforming me in a way I have not known for a long, long time.



