Wed 29 Apr 2009
an administrative note
Posted by Jim Marks under Uncategorized
[10] Comments
I have made a decision to slowly walk away from the nickname/persona/avatar/moniker of “jhimm”. This self-chosen pseudonym has been the central defining point of my identity both in real life and online for 15 years; essentially my entire adult life. Under this name I have said and done a great many things of which I am not proud and which I cannot at this point defend. It is time to put this part of my life journey firmly in the past and begin emerging out from under this constructed identity into something more genuine and more humble.
The primary complication in this process is website usernames, IM names, email addresses and the like. When you use the same nickname from a time that pre-dates the world wide web well into the 21st Century, it becomes pretty deeply entrenched as your virtual identity. My account name for more or less every major nonprofessional internet site and service is “jhimm” (with the exception of AIM because some guy named John Himmleberger beat me to it).
So, there is not much point in trying to completely restructure my virtual identity. And, honestly, I cannot hope to truly abandon my own past. This would be disingenuous as well as fool hardy.
I owe nearly everyone I have ever met as “jhimm” an apology of some kind. I allowed a few primary traumas in my life to crystallize into frustration, hatred, defensiveness and aggression. I cannot erase this past, but I can atone for it, own up to it, and freely and humbly admit my error within it.
If we are, or were, friends in real life, and we don’t speak often, or ever, it is almost certainly because I have abandoned our friendship on the basis of some perceived slight (or an explicitly stated one in some cases). I have learned recently this is all in my head and that I have been horribly unforgiving with people I should care about deeply. And so to you, I am the most sorry.
I spent 15 years craving justice. Now I want to crave peace, hope and love.
So hi. My name is Jim Marks. I’m new here. I hope we can be friends.

hi Jim.
Wow… (more in person)
hey jim. leaf turning, no matter what the reason, is usually a good thing.
Jim,
For what it’s worth (as much as I dislike saying that often abused phrase), I have more good memories than bad memories associated with the name “jhimm”. The lasting effect here has been the willingness to come back and interact with your journey as shared here. I hope that conveys some portion of the positive association.
jhimm is the guy who ultimately got you to this place. Whatever else may be true about him, it can’t be all bad in light of that fact. And I must say I liked him regardless of any faults — none of us are perfect.
I actually like that you have to keep jhimm in some arenas. May it serve as a reminder that that person is and always will be a part of you. But that’s just it — he’s PART of you. Now you’re growing past all that nickname represented into something bigger.
I wish I had figured this idea out when I first rejected Christianity. At the beginning, the pendulum swung pretty far in the opposite direction and I was downright nasty and bitter. It took a lot of years to get to a place where I could see that while I’d moved past that faith, that faith was/is still a huge part of who I am today. And that’s OK.
Kudos to you, Jim, for being quicker on the uptake.
Funny, last night I was thinking about how you led me into and down this virtual rabbit hole, and how much (so much!) I have to show for it.
I love you and the man that you have become, under any name. I love my friend.
i miss you. are you an email, IM, facebook, twitter or snail mail person these days?
Jim, good words, good thoughts. Best wishes as you turn this page.
Shalom,
Steve K.
Hi, I’m Herb…our avatars meet a while back…
As for things to apologize for, I’ll paraphrase you: We all have them, the weak hide from them, and the strong face up to them.
That you are among the strong is no surprise at all.
As usual, Pais said it best, but I’ll try to find my own words, too. Your constant work towards becoming a better self and finding the best way you can through the world is continually inspiring and continually interesting.